baby stepping to my new year's resolutions

Today is January 4th and I am finally ready to settle on my new year's resolutions. I used to never make resolutions because really, who keeps them? Then I started making them and, yes, not keeping them. Then I started making really teensy tiny easy to handle resolutions, like spend more time with my husband, get more sleep... And I kept them! What? Is this a turning point for me? Then I came across something I couldn't live without ~ a family, and I resolved to find a way. It wasn't January 1st, but the day I made the decision to not give up on having children was the day I learned something about myself. If I want something bad enough, I mean really want it, then I will find a way. Because I am way crazier  stronger than I ever thought I was. And ever since that day I have continued to make resolutions. Some at the new year, others not. I am always careful about what I choose to work on, so to speak. I want to be challenged, yes. I want to make my life or my family's lives better, definitely. But I am also a wimp  human and I don't want to fail. So I choose wisely. Which takes time. Which brings me back to why I am just now getting around to making my small handful of resolutions today, on the fourth day of the new year.

• let go of the schedule and the organized chaos of  my life every so often and just have fun. I do this already, but not enough. need more fun!
• continue to sing, every day. show tunes, kids songs, weird al- whatever! from country to contemporary christian there are more songs out there to be sung!
• perfect my kitchen dancing. and, naturally, do it with my boys.
• bake more muffins and tiny cakes. now that I have finally used my new kitchen aid mixer there is no going back!
• find user friendly, easy to make, inexpensive green alternatives to my skin care routine.
• find little ways to be more healthy. walk more. eat less. or eat more of the right stuff. maybe drink less coffee. maybe. not sure I can commit to that one just yet.
• get back into life- spend more time with friends and more alone time with my husband.

Now these may seem like silly, easily attainable goals. They may not seem like resolutions at all. But to me they are baby steps in the direction I want my life to take this year. I feel as though last year was all adoption, Russia, bonding, behavior modification and just plain lost time. Don't get me wrong. It was also joyous, fun, and miraculous. But I spent a lot of last year feeling like I was under water- I could see all of the people around me, my friends, family, even strangers just living their lives while I bobbed up and down, often sinking below the surface before being pulled back up with a kiss from my new two year old. So while this year's resolutions might seem insignificant, they are huge to me.

So at the end of this year I will have better skin, and more money in my back account from all the money I will save on skin care products. I will be a little healthier, and happy from all the spontaneity with my boys. I may finish the year with slightly less of a coffee addiction. I will know the words to way more songs. I will have reconnected with friends and with my husband, and I will have an arsenal of yummy muffin recipes. Sounds like a win win for me! What's your resolution?