are my kids speaking chinese in the backseat?

I'd like to say that this afternoon was weird. But to be honest, it was just a typical day in my mixed up world. I took my big five year old to the pediatrician this afternoon for his 5 year old well visit. This is the same doctor who overheard me explaining why we don't say "poop" to a stuffed sheep a few years ago. You can read about that embarrassing moment here. Today I sat in a chair in the exam room answering questions about my son's eating habits and sleeping patterns while my big five year old sat quietly in the chair next to me. The questions then turned to television and video game habits.  I sat there trying to add up how much TV my son watches a day and how many minutes he plays video games, finally coming up with what I thought sounded like a number that wouldn't make me look bad while still being somewhat accurate. As soon as the magic number was out of my mouth my son sat straight up in his chair, looked the doctor in the eye, and said "Man, that was some sick air!" He then immediately looked back down at his lap, where his handheld game was resting. Oh yes, I sat there and told my son's doctor that he rarely played video games, with a straight face, while my son sat next to me playing a video game.  But it gets better.

A few minutes later the doctor comments on the amount of energy my big five year old was displaying. Nervous energy, I think. He knew he would be getting a handful of shots and he was sort  of a mess. If he were an adult he might have sought out a nice glass of wine to calm his nerves but as a big five year old his outlet of choice for his angst was pure adrenalin. He was literally bouncing all over the tiny exam room. So I just get done basically telling the doctor a slightly white lie about the amount of TV time my child has when suddenly my big five year old hears the word "energy" and starts reciting, word for word, the Five Hour Energy commercial. Word for word.  When he's done with that one he moves on to the AT&T commercial, where there is a world of possibilities. Clearly my son watches more TV than I let on. The doctor is now eyeing me suspisciously. Sigh.

After the epic fail at the pediatrician's office my big five year old and I  drove to pick up the tiny toddler. On the way home the older one was feeding the younger one apple slices and this is what I hear happening behind me:

Big Five Year Old: "Here's your apple, Alex. Little bites! Nyet Alex, LITTLE BITES!" (he is repeating my favorite dinner time phrase in an attempt to have a meal where the tiny toddler doesn't choke, for a change.)

Tiny Toddler: "Xie, xie, Zhao!"

Big Five Year Old: "Bukeqi for the pinguo, Alex."

Are my kids having a conversation in Chinese in the backseat? (With a little Russian thrown in?) My Chinese son is speaking Russian and my Russian son is speaking Chinese. My fear was confirmed. One day, probably sooner rather than later, my two boys will be able to talk about me right in front of me, in a language I can't understand.  Like I said, it was a weird day.

my adult ADD has kicked in this week

I am either "on" or "off". All the systems are in place for daily success. So I am not sure where the train is going off the rails here, but this has definitely been an "off" week. A huge, big, time sucking, not sure what the hell I am doing OFF week. It all started last week, really. I went back to work last Monday. My supportive husband, who really wants this whole working mother thing to, well, work, was right there by my side, totally pulling it together. He found the zone cleaning list and did some of the tasks. Now, he also did some tasks scheduled for later in the week because he read the lists incorrectly, but, to his credit, we had not yet had the "new and improved household management training in service". So he did good.

This continued for a few days. The house stayed pulled together, dinners were cooked, laundry was done. Life was good. This job, with fewer hours and less responsibility, really makes a huge difference in life here at Bethfork. (That's right, we named our home a few years ago. Bethfork. it was during our "watch reruns of Dallas on TV every night" phase.)

Then my cell phone died and I spent an hour and a half after dinner on Wednesday allowing AT&T to suck the life out of me during my visit to their retail store. Oh my, how I dislike AT&T. When I finally got home one kid was in bed, the other was still up, dinner was on the table and no zone cleaning had been done. By Thursday morning the other kid had gotten into bed, but that was about it. The rest of the chores remained undone. It was all down hill from there.

Thursday evening I had book club. Totally off topic but I love love love the ladies of book club. We came together through adoption but we truly are friends. I look forward to book club like a child looks towards Christmas and I go even if I haven't read the book. And now that I have two small children, I look forward to it even more. I love my boys. Love love love them. But going anywhere with them is far from relaxing. You know how it is. By the time I have picked up the toys thrown on the floor, cleaned up the spilled milk creeping it's way to the sugar packets, and reminded my big four and half year old to use his INSIDE VOICE for the hundredth time, I am done. So hanging with my friends in a kid free zone where I can actually drink a cup of coffee while it is still hot is something I would move mountains to do. So no catching up on life at home on Thursday.

Friday is not a work day for me,  but it is an tiny toddler day. And last Friday my tiny toddler had his six month follow up appointment at the International Adoption Clinic. He is doing great! I had no idea when I left the house at 9:30 in the morning that I wouldn't be home until 9:00 that night. Between wasting time in the car so my tiny toddler could nap to grocery shopping to throwing chicken nuggets at the boys while we raced to find a parking space at the holiday parade in Grove City - it was a busy day. Good news- we weren't home long enough to make additional messes. Bad news- we weren't home long enough to do anything.

Saturday I headed to Cleveland. I had some much needed alone time at my in laws home. (They were out of town so it was quiet, and clean, and ahhhhh.) I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend, which was also a little mini reunion of my Kent State University friends. So. Much. Fun.

When I finally returned home Sunday with the boys, who had been dropped off my my husband so he could have his alone time at the Brown's football game, it was after 6:00. Everyone was cranky, hungry, and tired. And nothing got done.

It is now Thursday. The pattern has continued, so you can imagine what my home looks like. I have been buying Christmas presents without consulting my plan. I have been dressing my kids out of the clean laundry basket. I have been throwing chicken nuggets and frozen corn at them. This morning I couldn't find my cell phone only to find it hiding under the bread bag on the counter. No one had had any bread this morning, so it must have been left out yesterday. Oh. My. God.

So I am not "on" this week. My adult ADD has kicked in. I have a new laptop I have been playing with. I have sparkly Christmas cards to read and then admire again later. (I love Christmas cards!) I have work to do for my job. I lose focus every time one of the boys says mommymommymommymommymommy....I keep stopping what I am doing to break up a fight over a beloved toy or to feed someone. Dear God these boys are always asking for things! And I have found that I am wasting A LOT of time being so disorganized. A huge chunk of my week has been eaten up by digging through laundry baskets looking for underwear for my big four and half year old. I have wasted time with my near daily trips to the grocery store. I am making more work for myself by not emptying the diaper genie because now I have to gather the dirty diapers in a trash bag and still empty the diaper genie. Today is pretty much a loss. But I have got to get it together tomorrow. I have to. My head is this close to exploding. So tomorrow it is. Tomorrow I will be "on" again. Oh wait. Tomorrow is the day my tiny toddler is home with me. And I have to drag him with me to a doctor's appointment. And I have to pack us up for our weekend trip. sigh....