"The Cleaning led to Reading Which Led to Relaxing Which Led to More Cleaning Which Led to Getting Back on Track to Fulfilling My Purpose", or, "I Finished a Book!"

Yesterday I finished reading a book on my Kindle. When you finish a book on the Kindle it asks you if you would like to let the world know, via facebook, that you have accomplished the often monumental feat of actually finishing an entire book. I said yes. And then many of my friends, who will be reading the same book for a book club we are in together, all expressed their amazement. I know, I was right there with them. Me, finish a book? I haven't had time to read anything that wasn't about ADHD, early life trauma, fetal alcohol syndrome, or behavior in nearly two years. Now don't get too excited for me; it was, after all, a very short book and an easy read. And it was enjoyable, providing interesting food for thought on what it must be like for an older child to be internationally adopted and removed from the only home, and country, they have ever known. I started reading it while my super six old was at China school, when all I had was time and a comfortable chair. But I was able to finish it at home thanks to the fact that I have been cleaning like a mad woman. I have been working hard to keep the toys picked up, the kitchen counters cleaned off, and the kitchen floor sparkly clean. And when all that is in place I can relax. I can sit on the sofa after the boys are in bed and actually focus on something other than what didn't get done that day. And so the cleaning routines, (thank you fly lady!) led to the ability to read for enjoyment, which led to me being relaxed, which led to more cleaning. Finally! A cycle I don't mind being caught up in!

For some reason I am really feeling the spring cleaning bug this year. Maybe it is because the boys in my life are so messy. Maybe it is because my in-laws are visiting next week to watch my super six year old play football and have offered to stay with the boys for a few hours while my sweet husband and I sneak away for some much needed alone time. (Sadly, we are only planning a quick trip out to eat, but we are both super excited about it. I will get to drink all of my ice tea with no boys stealing large gulps from me! I will be able to sit still with no one touching me, or climbing on me, or elbowing me or kicking me. I will be able to eat my dinner while it is hot. I will be able to listen to my husband and actually concentrate on his words.) Wait, where was I? Spring cleaning. Yes.

So the in-laws are coming. And then the next weekend the social worker is visiting for yet another post placement visit for the tiny toddler. Who, while still tiny, is not really a toddler any longer- he will be four years old next month! The house certainly needs to be clean for her visit! And then a day or two after that we have a baby sitter coming over so that my sweet husband and I can sneak away again; this time to see the documentary STUCK.

Who knows what, or who, has prompted this spring cleaning bug but I am feeling more in control and happier than I have felt in a very long time. There is just something about purging and organizing that makes me happy. I have cleaned out all of the upper kitchen cupboards, throwing away chipped glasses and old vitamin bottles. I have cleaned under the sink, (gross!), and added stacking plastic bins to hold the soaps and scrubbies. I have added a shower curtain rod to the back of the boys' bathtub to hang plastic baskets holding their toys and wash cloths. Thanks to the holes in the baskets the toys can drip dry and the tub stays clean! I have cleaned the huge kitchen cupboard that held mismatched plastic bowls and lids, throwing away everything that didn't have a match. Now there is no Tupperware, but there is a large space for the boys' back yard necessities like bubbles and chalk. I cleaned and organized the walk in closet in the master bedroom- we can see our clothes again!

The cleaning out of every cupboard and closet, combined with our weekly family meeting, has made me feel more in control than I have in a long time. I have no control over the issues my youngest son faces. I have no control over schedules changing or my super six year suddenly being worried about his sweet little smushed in nose. I have no control over computer issues at work or the fact that I often feel as though I am drowning in toys. But I do have control over what lives in my cupboards and what is thrown away. I do have control over some of the chaos that naturally comes with raising a family.

Maybe it's the warmer weather. Maybe it's the cleaning. Maybe it's the new organizing bins and systems I have put in place. Maybe it is the fact that we are finally getting back to having regular house cleaning help around here; something every working mother should have. I am sure it is a combination of it all, but I don't really care. I am finally feeling more in control. Which means I am feeling more able to be the mother God designed me to be. So go throw something away. Go clean out a cupboard. Go open your window and breath in the cool Spring air. Go be the person God designed you to be!

my family control journal

Recently I have had a few people ask me about my household organization plan. While I didn't invent the organizational wheel, so to speak, I have refined it to suit my family's needs. It works for me, on most days. Other days, not so much. I have my moments, of course. My house is frequently in clutter chaos, but the good news is that by using my system it doesn't take long to get everything back in control. I never feel as though things are "too far gone"- a sentiment I hear all too often from my friends.

I used to feel that way too, especially when I was working and gone from the house for hours, sometimes days, at a time. So I did something about it. And then I started blogging about it, and then people started asking me about it. So now I have added my family journal to my blog. Check out the "family journal" tab at the top to read about my household journal. Just promise me that if you decide to create a journal for your family you will make it your own. use my ideas, that is fine with me. But create the household management system that works for you and your family. Give yourself more time!

will the two year old use the broom handle as a high jump pole?

As you know, I have returned to my quasi fly lady, semi made up totally by me household planning system. I have to say, I am loving it, and I am loving the fact that my husband loves how clean and pulled together the house has been lately. I do have to say though, if you miss a day of zone cleaning/organizing the work really starts to pile up. So you can imagine how backed up I was after missing, say, six days straight. Last week was the first week of my new part time stay at home mom gig, and I'm not going to lie to you, the week sort of got away from me.

I'm back on track now though. Yesterday I cleaned the master bedroom and both boys rooms, which included running the sweeper. I have to run the sweeper when Alex isn't around because he totally freaks out every time it is turned on. I am not sure where this fear is coming from; he was present in our hotel room daily when housekeeping was cleaning, so it's not like he has never seen, or heard, a sweeper before. He was even OK with it here at home, at first. But now, suddenly, he acts like a dog, screaming and running around while simultaneously trying to climb up my leg.

Today I cleaned both the master bathroom and the boys' bathroom, with Alex's help. Staying on track is a little harder with my tiny toddler around. Today he ran around the upstairs wielding the broom and hitting it on all the closed doors while I both cleaned the bathrooms and prayed that he didn't:
A. knock everything off the top of the dressers with the broom handle.
B. knock the shelf off the wall in the hallway. (the shelf was hung by me, so I'm not all that sure how secure it is up there.)
C. use the broom handle as a high jump pole as he catapults himself over the gate and down the stairs.

Bottom line: may not be perfect, but it's done, and it's getting done again next week so it's all good.

Here's the really cool part though. Every night before I hang out with my husband the toys are picked up, mostly, the kitchen is clean and the laundry is folded. (usually not put away, but that's a goal for another day.) It is really becoming second nature. And it is rubbing off on my family. Yesterday I had to pick up the boys early from daycare, (because one was sick, only he wasn't sick and the teacher didn't even know I had been called. that's right. stay tuned for that story.) The living room was covered from one end to the other with toys, sofa pillows, blankets, sippy cups... the mess had started to creep into the kitchen and I was tripping over mini electric pianos and tiny matchbox cars while trying to cook dinner. I started to sing the "toys away" song and before I knew it my big four and a half year old was on his feet, picking up the toys. I didn't even have to ask him!

After dinner I took my older son to Starbucks for "Mommy and Matthew" time and when we got back there were a few toys back out, from the two year old's play time with Daddy. After bedtime TV show, bath time, (which involved a trash bag to keep the big four and a half year old's splint dry and lots of shushing to keep the two year asleep down the hall), and cleaning up dinner I just left the living room. And this morning my amazing four and a half year old walked into the living room, stated "This room is a mess!" and began picking up the toys! Score!

So I am loving my new system. I have finished my family "control" journal, complete with a our family mission statement, weekly menu's, shopping lists, daily and weekly tasks and zone cleaning. I have also added babysitter notes for the boys and emergency contact information, including medical teams and such. (my older son sees at least five different doctors, so it's not so easy to keep them all straight.) And it is all in a binder with a picture of my boys slid into the front window, so that when it stands up on  my kitchen counter it doubles as a picture frame. Some may think it's silly, but it's the little victories that make our days special, right? For me, it's all about control, and with my control journal at the ready I feel completely in control.

only read if you are as imperfect as I am

This new job I will be starting in September means not only more time to spend with my husband and boys, it also means changes to the family budget. It means more thoughtful grocery shopping, better planning for upcoming events and cleaning my own home. None of this is new to me. Truth be told, the only reason  I stopped doing these things was because of how much time my career was eating up. If I was going to work every day, travel overnight frequently, work weekends and evenings after my son was in bed then I was not going to waste a minute of my free time cleaning. Every moment of that free time went right to my husband and son. And it worked.

Now life is about to change again and I'm pulling out my old planning system to assure that the house, and our lives, stay in order. My system is a mixture of fly lady ,  and franklin covey with my own quirks tossed in for fun and giggles. I have often been asked about this process, which is flattering, yes. So I am going to share it. But before I do each and every one of you has to stand up, raise your right hand and swear that you will not just snag my system. In order for this to really work for you and your family, you have to make it your own. Put your personal stamp on it and off you go! Oh, and you also have to understand, I mean really understand, that my home is not perfect. Right now I am sitting in my kitchen. There is a basket of clean (and folded!) laundry sitting in the living room by the sofa. There are three pairs of little people shoes tossed on the rug by the garage door. There is a little monster truck overturned on the kitchen floor and there is a Lightening McQueen puzzle (all put together by my big four year old!) laying on the other end of the kitchen table. There is laundry sitting in the dryer and toys in the bathtub. And you don't want to even hear about the garage... So repeat after me... beth is not perfect. And to prove it - my four year old showed up at day care today dressed in a black monster truck t-shirt that is at least two sizes too big for him. And I am pretty sure he had peanut butter on his face. (that's my boy!)

To review ; beth is not perfect but has system to keep chaos in some sort of order. This allows beth to breath easily, and relax with loving husband at night in tidy living room with new favorite drink, which I am too embarrassed to tell you about right now. If you agree to all that, then you can read on.

The first step to my process is a family journal. I started with a 1 inch three ring binder and decided that it was too cumbersome and so downsized to the Franklin Covey "classic" size - much more manageable. This book hangs out on my kitchen counter, where I can refer to it frequently. Our family mission statement is front and center on the first page. A calendar sits behind the first tab. This is where I keep track of all family stuff. I tried to blend my work and family schedules once and it was truly an ugly month. Day care outings, church events, play groups, doctors appointments - you know the drill.

The next tab is menus and shopping. Weekly dinner plans and corresponding grocery lists hang out here. These menus and shopping lists are created every Saturday for the upcoming week, since I usually do the grocery shopping on Sundays. For those of you who are already thinking that I am too controlling (and we are only on tab two!), I have to say that while I select a menu for each day I don't always stick to that day when preparing dinner. I know, crazy, right? Sometimes I just throw caution to the wind and make Tuesday's dinner on Monday!

The third tab is weekly chores. This is a really important section as this is what keeps the house clean and orderly. Mainly using the fly lady system I have a morning routine:

• make beds (which is easy these days since the two year sleeps in a crib and the four year old has taken to sleeping backwards and on top of his covers every night- no need to make his bed at all!)
• swish & swipe master bath (straight from fly lady)
• start laundry ( so it never piles up!)
• unload dishwasher

The daily routine also includes a daily home blessing (another fly lady jewel) where I spend less than 10 minutes wandering through the house picking up each room- just the big stuff. On the list is also an evening routine of lunch packing and school bag assembly. The final component to my daily routine is a 15 minute clean in a different zone each day. Again, straight from fly lady. Here are my zones:

Zone 1 - bedrooms and office (dust, vacuum, change sheets)
Zone 2- master bathroom (very easy to complete because of the daily "swish & swipe")
Zone 3- boys bathroom
Zone 4- living room and dining room (dust and vacuum)
Zone 5- kitchen (counter, appliances and floor)
Zone 6- downstairs bathroom

Less than 15 minutes in each zone, one zone a day Monday through Saturday. The key to this is assuring the boys pick up all their toys every day, which we manage to complete about 80% of the time by pitting our four year old against the clock while we entertain the two year old so that he does not go behind his brother and undo all of his hard work by pulling the toys back out. This daily "beat the timer" game is the only way we have found to get the toys off the floor and into the toy box. If he beats the clock he gets to watch his night night show. If not, he goes to bed.

Other tips to keeping the house clean:

• tidy up the boys bathroom while they are in the tub. Wipe down the counter, sink and mirror, swish and swipe the toilet. The boys love to wipe down their tub when they are done. :)
• I use a dish brush that has a well for soap (so it soaps itself) to clean the shower. It hangs in the shower and I quickly clean one shower wall while the conditioner hangs out in my hair.
• Once a week I try to spend 15 minutes de-cluttering a zone. I set the timer so I don't get too involved and clean out a kitchen cupboard or under a sink.

The next tab has the contact info for all of the various doctors my family frequents. There is a tab with info for each child and one for the babysitter. Take out menus round out the back of the book.

This system works really well for my family. I like the small binder because this allows me to add information as needed, like when I have to be out of town and my husband needs to know what goes in the kid's school lunches, or when I am planning an event, such as my youngest son's upcoming baptism and welcome home luncheon. I can toss the binder in the diaper bag or my briefcase if I need to take it with me or I can stuff it into the bookshelf with the cookbooks. My husband can reference it if he needs to start dinner or check the calendar.

The final piece of this system is our individual clipboards. Each family member (minus my husband) has their very own clipboard hanging on the kitchen wall. We have all decorated our own clipboards and each is labeled with our name. This is how I keep the clutter off the kitchen counter. Everything goes on a board - all birthday party invites, play date notes, letters from other day care moms, school fee slips, sports schedules, music class info- you get the idea. the tons of paper we receive in the mail and drag home from day care every day either goes in the bill holder, to a clipboard, or in the trash. Nothing stays on the counter.

So, what systems work to keep the chaos under control in your family? I am always looking for suggestions!