Do Your Clipboard!

we keep our clipboards on the dryer- within easy reach of both boys 

I am a busy working mom. Just like so many of you out there. Whether you work outside the home, or telecommute, whether you are a stay at home mom, (who WORK the hardest, in my opinion), you are busy. Busy busy busy. I have a great daily schedule, and believe me, I know how very lucky I am. My youngest son gets up with me in the morning and has breakfast with my sweet husband and I. The quiet of morning is usually the best time of day for my little guy's moods, so this calm and sleepy breakfast date is something I treasure. After my husband leaves for work my youngest and I head upstairs to get dressed for school. And this is where his clipboard makes it's first appearance of the day.

If you are a follower of this blog, you have heard about these clipboards. If you have spent any time with me in the past few months you have heard about these clipboards. I am always talking about these clipboards!

The first item on my youngest son's morning clipboard is "get dressed on your own". I make sure that he has clothes ready to go in his tomorrow drawer, and he needs to go to his room and get himself dressed. This is a child who wants me to physically take off his pajamas and help him step into his undies- and while I love our time together, I don't always have time to be holding undies while my perfectly capable almost 5 year old steps into them like a little prince.

After he gets dressed he tidies up his bed. He doesn't make his bed, because he sleeps on top of the bedspread and because he just isn't ready to be making beds. So he pulls up his blanket and arranges his stuffed animals in a tidy little row. He then moves on to brushing his teeth. He brings me his toothbrush and toothpaste and I get him all set up and send him back to his bathroom, where he completes the job. All of this responsibility on his part allows me time to get myself dressed and ready for the day. Because here's the thing- I can't get up ahead of my kid. All the books tell you to wake up before your children so you can be all ready for your day when your little bundles of joy hop out of bed. Um, no thank you. I could get myself out of bed at 4am and somehow my youngest would know. And he would be by my side, with his "Hey Mommy!"

And the day progresses from there. Each child has a clipboard in the morning and evening. They check off each item as they complete it. If they complete their entire list and put the clipboard back where they live, in a basket on the dryer, they will find a little treat attached the next time they grab it. So if my youngest son completes all of his morning tasks he will have a little treat waiting for him when he comes home from school.

This system grew from lots of trial and error on my part. I have tried many chore systems and just could not find one that didn't take a huge amount of effort on my part to complete. Each boy has a small clipboard of their own. I have created a Morning, Evening, Sunday Church, and No School Day list. I slipped the lists into a plastic sheet cover so that each child can simply check off their tasks with a dry erase marker. I keep the morning and evening lists back to back in the page protector, so all I need to do is flip the chart over in the middle of the day. Easy peasy!

The tasks my boys have on their lists are the jobs I found myself hounding them about every.sing.day. Getting shoes on for school. Helping to set the dinner table. Putting backpacks and coats away. Getting through the morning without a time out. You know, whatever the kid needs. That's the great thing about this system- it is very easy to add a task or to change up the list. If I have additional chores that need done, which I try to assign to each child at least 4 times a week, I simply add it to their clipboard. Two minutes of planning on my part every day and I get all those chores done that I need help with. Well, usually. Like any system, it doesn't always work. But I have found that 90% of the time the stuff I need done gets done, and I am not longer driving myself crazy and repeating myself a thousand times. Plus, with two kids on the system, if one gets a treat and the other doesn't, things can get ugly, which means the next time? Clipboard done.

Now that we have been using the system for a few months all I need to do is say "Clipboards!" or "Do your clipboard!" and I leave it at that. Because let's face it- if our children don't do what we ask them to, all those jobs still need done, right? So if they neglect their clipboard, I do what needs done, because I would have to do it anyways. But they don't get their treat. And they feel that pain, believe me.

Before I had children I was one of those people who would say crazy stupid things like, "I will never pay my kids to do chores. They will do them because they are a part of the family!" Um, nope. So I get it, I know it may sound crazy to reward my child for doing things like getting dressed and putting on his shoes. And yes, I agree. But my youngest child has sensory and trauma issues and needs routine, lists, and rewards. If it costs me a cookie or a quarter to have a calm morning, I will gladly cough it up. Don't tell my kids, but I would gladly cough up way more than that!

 

 

 

While many of the tasks on their clipboards are routine chores or daily "musts", such as brushing teeth, I have also included other important work that I feel is a must for my family. My oldest straight A student son has "Do Your Homework, No Complaining!" on his evening list. He also has "Read or Do Oneline Math For 15 Minutes" on his evening list, because I was fighting with him about this every night. No more. Prayers, devotions, behaving in the car, taking much needed sensory breaks, sharing what was learned in Sunday School- it's all there.

 

The treats that my boys receive range from candy, dollars, quarters, small toys or stickers. Usually the treat is something very small, but every so often I surprise them with a larger treat, such as a dollar or a big cookie. Again, my sanity is worth the price of the treat. Plus, the boys are saving their money, which is a good lesson to learn. Do you think they'll use any of their hard earned money to buy their momma an awesome Mother's Day gift?

 



Don't let Him Get Hit in the Head With Any Balls!

My oldest son just left to go to a baseball game with my husband. The last thing I said to them as they walked out the door was, "Don't let him get hit in the head with any balls!" And I wasn't kidding. I swear, if this child loses any brain cells he will melt into one huge hot mess. An even bigger mess than he already is, I mean.

Thanks to my youngest, anxious, sensory seeking son, our lives revolve around lists and regimen. Our boys have daily tasks listed on their individual clipboards, for which they are rewarded for completing. I know. I can hear you cringing now. I never thought I would bribe my kids to do "what needs to be done" either. I got over it, and so should you. For the peace of my family and to salvage what sanity I have left, we moved to doling out treats and small coins just to get my boys to brush.their.teeth. For the love of God boys, just put your shoes in the closet and hang up your coats!

Now we use clipboards, which they LOVE. And by LOVE, I mean they run to them first thing in the morning and first thing after school, and right before bed, to read their lists and mark off their tasks. They compare treats and my youngest little non reader is even sounding out the first letter of the words on his list, so that he can be sure to check off the right task. Beds are made and stuffed animals are picked up off the bedroom floor. Sure, it looks like a monkey did the job, but I don't care. Shoes, coats and backpacks find their way into the closet and, usually, I don't have to beg someone to set the table for dinner. The dinner dishes are miraculously cleared and the dog is fed twice a day. And I do very little to assure all that magic happens.

So we live and breath lists. My super smart 7 year old reads his list and completes his tasks.

1. Do your homework without complaining- to him this means lots of procrastination and sighing, and sometimes, even a little arguing. It also means leave your homework papers on the kitchen counter, dining room table, and bathroom. (These are all places I found homework this morning alone.)
2. Help clean up dinner- he reads this and hears leave all the place mats out, put the ketchup in the fridge only if it is a Monday, drop food on the floor and leave napkins out, which, basically means put the paper napkins directly into the dog's mouth.
3. Throw snack trash away- or just simply toss it in the vicinity of the trash can. Which translates to "place directly into the dog's mouth".
4. Brush your teeth- that's right folks, I am rewarding my son for brushing his teeth. I do hope the Mother of the Year people will be able to find me at my new address.

He means well, and he tries so hard. But Lord this kid is clueless sometimes! He walks into the kitchen and just stands there. He runs upstairs to get something for me and comes down empty handed. He leaves everything he owns scattered throughout the house. My precious boy- so smart, but no sense.  His straight A homework is crumpled and battered. The only time he misses a question on his work is when he is working so fast that he literally misses answering the question. He can't remember to turn in homework or write his name on a test, but he has the wherewith all to collect telephone numbers from friends on the bus so I can set up play dates. Which, by the way, he no longer refers to as play dates. Just pull the knife out already!

Some parents worry that their kids will grow up and one day leave them behind to pursue their dreams. I worry that I will have to rent the dorm room next to my son's and dole out M&Ms to get him through the day!

The Back to School Countdown Is On!

The countdown to the first day of school is on in our home. Next week we have parent's nights at both the private Christian school where my super six year old will head back to first grade and at the special needs preschool where my persevering preschooler will have another go at a classroom setting. The Monday after that we begin hot breakfasts at the table, back packs loaded up, school drop offs and school buses. We haven't ventured out to purchase the school supplies yet but we are stocked up on uniforms and new shoes. And each boy has carefully selected his backpack. Just walking by the front door and seeing the bags hanging at the ready makes me happily anticipate Fall. Apple picking, high school football games, school projects. Love love love it.



I love the stick on hooks- the boys can keep their bags off the floor and I don't have to constantly remind them- win!

 

 A new school year seems like the perfect time to upgrade our chore/reward system. For the past year we have been playing around with a few different systems, trying to find the one that works for us. We tried check off sheets and token systems and we liked both, but they were often difficult to use and required a lot of hands on attention from Mom and Dad. All of our trial and error has also shown us that our persevering preschooler needs colorful charts and the ability to "do it himself". Always with the "I do it myself!" So I sat the boys down and asked them what they wanted. The super six year old did all of the talking and a new chore/reward system was born. His "demands":

 

• monster trucks MUST be involved
• rewards should be paid out weekly and no IOU's. (We were terrible about actually having the offered "reward" available when earned.)

Sounds easy enough. So we got to work. First I searched online for monster truck and fire truck clip art. I added these to a Word document so that I could print out six trucks on one page. I also printed out a monster truck stadium and a fire station. I created a "title" for each boy- the super six year old came up with these as well: "CRUSH YOUR CHORES!" for his monster truck theme and "FIRED UP TO HELP!" for his little brother. One quick trip to the copy store to laminate it all, a few Velcro dots and scrap book paper, and our new system was ready for use.

 



 

I decided to go with one day at a time instead of weekly in order to make it easier  for my youngest to understand. This way I can tailor the responsibilities to what is going on each day, which allows us to be more flexible. I simply write the chore on the truck and place it on the "TODAY" sheet. (Each truck is connected with Velcro to the daily chart.) Once the task is complete each boy just moves his truck to either the monster truck stadium or the fire station. Simple!

 

Some tasks are done because we are a family and everyone chips in to keep our home and lives running smoothly. Some tasks are done to earn money, which is a HUGE incentive for my six year old. If a task can earn money, the amount it is worth is written on the truck. (All of our current tasks are worth either .25 or .50.) At the end of the day I remove all of the trucks, but leave the ones with money attached. On Saturday the boys will get paid for the trucks "parked" that have collected all week. With only one task a day capable of earning money, we shouldn't be shelling out too much each week, but enough to make it feel super special to the boys.

 

I use a washable pen to write the chores on the trucks- this makes it easy to wipe them off and use again. With my youngster's propensity for tearing paper during meltdowns, I didn't want to go too fancy. Some of their daily chores include putting their dishes in the sink, cleaning up after their snacks, picking up their toys, completing a daily act of kindness, brushing teeth, (for the oldest), and using the potty, (for the youngest). Other chores, like cleaning out the car, pulling weeds, running the sweeper, cleaning out their bathroom sink, will earn them money money money!

 

 





 

So back packs are hung at the ready and chore charts are in use and working marvelously. (This morning I was wrestling with my youngest to get him dressed when I suddenly said, "Hey! Let's get dressed so you can move your truck!" He raced out of his jammies and into his his shorts in no time, all with a huge smile on his face. Good thing he can't read yet- the truck he parked in his station said "dishes to sink". Shhhh.) Our back to school dinner party is being planned - we are on our way to another great school year!