you are NOT invited to my birthday party!

My big four and a half year old has been planning his fifth birthday party for months now. For reasons unknown to me he is super excited about turning five. Well, I do know one reason. He seems to think that turning five will gain him automatic admission to Safety Town, where he will get to drive a car. I have tried to gently explain to him that I do not think, in fact, that he will be driving any cars anytime soon. But he is convinced. And he is usually right, so we shall see.

So the party theme seems to bounce back and forth between "construction" and "trains". Currently "construction" is winning. He has planned the decorations, what the cake will look like. He even knows what he will include in his goody bags. What he doesn't know is who will be invited to this shindig of his. He can tell you, however, who won't be invited. Mommy.

Nearly daily I do something that gets on his nerves to the point where he says, "Mommy, you are NOT invited to my birthday party." The other day he told his tiny toddler of a little brother that he was no longer invited either. The tiny toddler took it better than I did - he pointed his tiny finger at his brother and said "No!". And then he wandered off and that was that.

"Mommy, you are NOT invited to my birthday party!"
"You'll miss me if I am not there."
"No I won't. I won't miss you because I will be having so much fun!"
"Who is going to plan this birthday party?"
"You can plan it, Mommy. But you are NOT invited."
"Well, little brat sweetie, I am not NOT planning your party if I am not invited."
"Daddy will plan it."
"Alrighty then. It will be you, Daddy, Alex, a folding chair and lots of talk about football."
"That doesn't sound like fun."
"So am I invited again?"
"Sure! I want a round cake this year, NOT a square one, Mommy."

This exact conversation happens at least three times a week. We have nearly nine weeks until his big birthday rolls around. God help me. I may just lose my invitation and let my husband have at it. Maybe he'll bring two folding chairs.