I used to be pretty popular, for a relatively quiet girl. In elementary school I was always friends with other "good girls" - girls who always did their home work and carried brushes and lip smacker lip gloss in their macrame or jeans purses. (how old am I?) In fifth or sixth grade I paired up with a mysterious young man named Earl, not so much because I liked him but because everyone had a "boyfriend". We would sit together at lunch and I would watch him play dodge ball or baseball at recess. I remember that Earl had dark hair and wore a lot of plain white t-shirts. Not a lot to build a relationship on, but it was a strong enough foundation for a young girl to fit in to the delicate balance of elementary school.
In high school and college I developed a close circle of friends, many of whom I am still close to today. I may not have been the most popular girl in school- homecoming queen I was not and I can't even remember the name of the quarterback, let alone remember if he ever spoke to me in the hall. But I was friendly and nice and caring and funny and when it came to friends I did alright.
Then I grew up. left the cloistered world of academia and entered the very real world of working, paying bills, dealing with family problems, dating. I maintained my friendships from college and added a few more along the way, from early jobs. As my career progressed I spent less and less time in an office, meaning more responsibility and the money that went with it, but less opportunity to build lasting relationships with co-workers. I went on a date and found the love of my life sitting in that BW3's and got married. And then we moved two hours away from family and friends.
We suffered through infertility and two invitro-fertilizations. (side note: the act of "egg harvest" is even more unpleasant than the horrific name implies.) We traveled to China and brought home our beautiful little boy and became a family "with children". Suddenly I was a wife and mother who worked outside the home but with a "home office", with my same circle of amazing close friends, all two hours away.
Making mommy friends is hard! I am not the most outgoing person. I don't find it easy to get to know others. It's not that I don't want to get to know people, it's just not easy for me. I have opportunities - the China play group my son belongs to, the other board members of Central Ohio Families With Children From China, the other daycare mommies. Tonight I am heading out to MOPS to meet with other moms and spend some time sharing and bonding and learning. I am looking forward to it; I always enjoy it when I go. But it isn't easy. Making mommy friends is hard!