Yesterday my little family traveled from Cleveland back home to Columbus. A trip that should have taken two and a half hours took much, much longer thanks to a stop for gas, a stop for food, three separate accidents, and a whole lot of traffic. We were tired. We were thirsty. We were squirmy and tense and not getting along with each other so well. We were all being driven crazy by the tiny toddler, who can rain down a lot of terror while strapped into his car seat. At one point we pulled over and my sweet husband squeezed his body between the car seat and the booster seat and his long legs between blankets and stuffed animals and we rode the rest of the way home with me, alone in the front seat, driving, and all of my boys stuffed into the backseat. I definitely got the better end of that deal. The ride was loud. The tiny toddler was screaming. The super six year old was playing DS games that pinged and bopped and played music. The kind of music that burrows itself into your brain and takes hold of your sanity. This kind of music. The radio was on to Kids Place Live, which shoots outs such ditties as Did You See Where The Cat Threw Up? , Which, to be truthful, is a reality played out in our home nearly daily, so we tend to take this song as simply good advice. My life is loud, which is not something I am used to. I didn't grow up in a loud house. With a musician father, the sounds in my home growing up were purposeful. Music. Instruments practicing. No one yelling or jumping or screaming.
But now I live with boys. My sweet husband plays the TV louder than I would. He thinks nothing of turning on a press conference or video on his phone when the room is already full of other noise. He listens to rock music or sports radio in the car, leaving the volume turned way up for the next unsuspecting person who turns the car on. So there's that. But now there is even more. The orchestra of noises in my world are the new backdrop to my life, and are a result of life with boys.
Maybe not all boys are wild and loud, but mine sure are. God created boys to be mighty warriors, and loud play is in their DNA. It's not in mine, as I keep telling them, but seeing as they don't share my DNA this doesn't seem to be sinking in. God created men to long for adventure, and who am I to mess with that? So the orchestra plays on.
- engine sounds: My boys are really really good at creating monster truck engine sounds. They toss the sofa cushions on the floor and pretend that their little bodies are the trucks, racing around and jumping over the pillows, all the time making very realistic monster truck engine noises.
- mysterious thumps and bumps: My boys are always in motion, unless Curious George or Toy Story is on TV. They jump off beds, sofas and chairs. They purposely fall down. They roll off the beds. Loud noises come from upstairs play daily in our home and I pause whatever I am doing for a few seconds to listen if the thump is accompanied by a scream or crying. Otherwise, I ignore.
- bodily noises: My boys LOVE to pretend that their stuffed baby animals are "making smellies", which is what we call farting in our home. They put the animals' bottom in your face and "toot", then they laugh as though what they just did was the absolute funniest thing they have ever seen. This can be repeated for hours. They also enjoy making these noises themselves, as well as burping and pretending to throw up.
- shooting noises: Despite my best efforts to stop it from happening, my boys are into gun play. I know it's not socially accepted these days and I am sure I will one day receive that call from the school due to the zero tolerance policies, "Mrs. Wilkison? Your son has turned his half eaten slice of pizza into a gun and is pointing it at the other children as he makes "bang bang" noises. Please come pick him up right away. And bring a snack- we threw away his pizza." Yes, I know it is coming. But you can't seem to stop boys from turning everything they see into a gun and pretending to shoot it at their brother. I added Velcro to colorful foam craft sticks so my three year old could create letters and houses and shapes while in the car or when waiting for dinner at a restaurant and you know the first thing he made with them? You guessed it, a gun. Which he pointed at me while making shooting noises.
- running noises: These boys seem truly incapable of walking, anywhere.
- plastic wheels on hard floors noises: My boys can spend hours doubled over, their little faces nearly touching the floor, as they push all of their body weight down on plastic buses and trucks and race them across the kitchen floor. This game is usually reserved for right after dinner, when they are done but my husband and I would like a moment to just be together and talk about our days. Which we do in small spurts as the boys race their trucks around the room in the loudest way possible.
- siren noises: My three year old can make a siren noise that will make the hair on your arms stand up and salute.
- singing noises: OK, this isn't really a noise, but it does add to the orchestra of my life. Both of my boys like to sing, and they often will sing to themselves while playing. Or hum... refer to the Bad Piggies music from earlier- over and over and over again...
- mommy watch what what I can do noises: "Mommy!" "Mommy, watch!" "Mommy mommy mommy mommy!" Repeat.
- I love you noises: We say "love love" in our home, and it is often accompanied by the sign language for the word "love". We then click our love signing fingers together and say "click". We don't exactly know why we do this. But it is a noise often heard in our home.
- different languages noises: The super six year old takes Mandarin classes. We all speak a handful of words in both Russian and Chinese. We mix our languages frequently, and it is a beautiful noise.
- kiss kiss noises: I just have to say "kiss kiss" to my tiny toddler and he will, usually, give me a kiss on the cheek. I know, too cute, right? Often he will walk up to me and say, "I wanna hug you now", or "I wanna kiss momma now". Best noise ever.