Tuesday, September 6, 2011

5: number of meatballs thrown on the floor

Sunday was not a great day at my house. My tiny toddler is now sweet at least 80% of the time. Which is pretty much my percentage as well. Sunday his percent went down, drastically, as did mine. The afternoon spun out of control as he hit his big brother, (who never once hit him back, God bless him), threw toys at me, and pretty much singlehandedly destroyed the living room. Wonderfully Patient Daddy took him upstairs to play at one point, which seemed to help. Problem solved! What great parents we are!

But then Daddy and my tiny toddler showed back up in the newly put back together living room and the downward spiral started again. And again. And again. And nothing worked. And that is when the countdown to bedtime began.

Here's a breakdown of the numbers:

5:   number of hard plastic toys thrown at my head before I finally started handing over plush ones.

8:   number of times I was hit in the eye, ear, or mouth by 7 sets of eyes and one shoe string on aforementioned plush toys.

1,287: number of alternative toys, snacks, beverages, music and books offered.

27:   number of times my big four and a half year old ran at me at top speed yelling "uh oh, Mommy, here he comes!", as his little brother lunged at him, yet again.

2:   number of times I was convinced I had chipped a tooth

675: number of times my sweet little boy shook his finger at me and said "no, no, no!"

862: number of time outs attempted

1:   number of time outs that actually occurred

15:  number of times I pictured the wine in the pantry

5:   number of meatballs thrown on the floor at dinner

2:   number of meatballs thrown at my big four and a half year old's head during dinner

2.5: number of projected hours between dinner and bedtime

1.5: number of actual hours between dinner and bedtime

*writers note: this list does not include the number of times I was brought to near tears during the day. Oh, and some of the numbers may be slightly inflated. But I swear, if asked in the heat of the moment, these numbers would have been my best guess.

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