Thursday, August 4, 2011

total toddlerdom

Oh how quickly we forget. I have grown so accustomed to the carefree lifestyle of wandering around town with a big four year old. I had practically forgotten the diaper bag, the countless little toys, the snacks. I had just begun to enjoy eating out again, watching my big four year old play tic tac toe with his daddy instead of throwing toys over the side of the table. I have been listening to Top 40 on the car radio more than "Old McDonald" and I can even venture upstairs on my own, leaving my big four year old alone in the living room. I have been showering without having to hold the shower door closed with my left foot and even if there was a potty accident my boy could hop on up to his room, on his own, place his wet clothes in the hamper, get his own clean underwear and shorts, put them on and hop back downstairs before I even knew he was missing. We could just leave the house, whenever we wanted. No loading up the diaper bag or putting the baby's shoes on fifteen times between the kitchen and the car. Not that I am complaining. I love all of that stuff. I love lugging the diaper bag everywhere we go. I love acting goofy at dinner just so the two year will sit still and eat something. I love every minute of it. But still, there are moments when I think I might be losing my mind. And at those very trying times I take a deep breath, I look around and I remember that I am the parent of a toddler.

You know you're embedded deep into total toddlerdom when:

  • You catch yourself humming tunes from Elmo's World and The Wiggles, even when you are totally alone. Seeing as I work from home and spend the majority of my day alone, this is bad. Really bad.
  • You find yourself doing the "Rock A Bye Your Bear" song by The Wiggles, complete with the dance moves, in the middle of Target just to keep your little one from climbing out of the shopping cart.
  • The tantrums, lack of sharing and occasional hitting from your pride and joy makes you question your worth as a parent and human being.
  • You have no mascara or lipstick in your purse but you do have plenty of cracker crumbs, broken crayons, a pacifier and the wrapper from the free cookie from last week's trip to the grocery store.
  • You are scrubbing your kitchen floor at least three times a day, all while honing your CSI skills by trying to figure out what the heck that sticky stuff on the floor really is.
  • You have totally perfected showering while standing on one foot, thus freeing your other foot to hold the shower door closed, preventing your little sweetie from flinging open the door and, once again, climbing into the shower fully clothed.
  • You can carry six grocery bags, your purse, two stuffed animals, a sippy cup and your toddler's hand and successfully walk across a busy parking lot.
  • You find yourself using your teeth for all sorts of tasks not related to eating, such as holding car keys, opening snack packages, carrying the mail...
  • You just know that if you have to watch your toddler's favorite television show one more time your spouse will find you sitting in the corner of the living room, in the fetal position, rocking back and forth. And probably humming the theme from "Elmo's World".
I know this phase will end, and I will be sad, so I had better enjoy it while I can. Plus, I have gotten really good at typing blog posts with only one hand....

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