My oldest son has been running a restaurant out of our living room for a few years now. Now that he is a big four and a half year old he has taken on a co-owner. Despite the additional help the service has not improved. If the health department ever found it's way into our living room I am pretty sure they would be shut down. I mean, the other day the two year old served me a plastic eggplant, which he carried to me in his mouth.
The hours of this eating establishment are irregular and often the restaurant is not even open at a time when a normal person would be hungry. I have found that a plate of plastic peas, two french fries, a tiny waffle, three pickles and a tiny little can of unidentified soup (the label has long been removed), is way too filling a pretend meal to consume right before bed.
This restaurant has also been open in the middle of the night and too early for even the sun to care.
The food is often dropped on the floor prior to reaching the customer. As I mentioned earlier sometimes it is served directly from the two year old's mouth, leaving it wet and sometimes sticky. Occasionally it is not even served on a plate. Oh, and the two year old frequently serves the meal while wearing only a diaper.
While I have visited this fine eatery many times I have never once been asked what I would actually like to eat. I am always served coffee and Daddy always gets Coke. According to the four year old the coffee is always too hot to drink but then he stands there in front of me waiting until I drink it down, yelping "hot hot hot" the whole time.
If I do ask for a specific meal I am usually offered some sort of alternative. It appears as though this restaurant is consistently out of watermelon, even though I can see it sitting on top of the play kitchen. Although I probably should stop requesting the fruit that isn't kept in the refridergator....
At times it takes what seems like hours to get my food. This is often due to the proprieter getting sidetracked by a monster truck on the way back to the kitchen. Other times the courses arrive way too quickly. I mean, I have hardly had the time to finish the cardboard box of fake cookies before the plastic lettuce and single hamburger patty is shoved into my lap. Yes, my lap. Did I mention that there are no tables at this restaurant? Which really wouldn't be a problem, except that sometimes there aren't plates either.
My final complaint about the service: often Buzz Lightyear gets served before me, even though I have been frequenting this place for years. way before Buzz showed up.
As I mentioned earlier the menu is somewhat diverse. The daily specials seem to change by the minute, sometimes after they are ordered. I do have to say, however, that I really haven't been anywhere else where I can get a single cracker, miniscule plastic bottle of grape juice, 3 potato chips, a tomato, and a tiny donut, all served in a little red frying pan.
The cost of the meal seems to depend on the server. The two year old forgets the check every time and when asked how much the meal costs either wanders off or blows a raspberry in your face. The four year old tends to charge somewhere between "sixty forty one" and "eighty nine thirty".
So, to recap: eccentric hours, slow service, poor menu, occasionaly surly servers and a high cost. But the co-owners are just so cute, it will always be my favorite place to eat!