I was wrapping up a working lunch the other day and pulled out my wallet to pay. Along with the wallet came a handful of receipts and a pair of Thomas The Tank Engine underwear. That's right. I pulled underwear out of my bag in a crowded restaurant. I heard myself attempting to explain why I was carrying around toddler underwear in my purse and I thought, wow, there's something I never expected to be saying. Remember when you are first a mom? You have these grand ideas about how life will be. You have seen those other women, those harried moms who can't find a thing in their purse and who's children are always sticky. You vow to never be that mom. You will always carry a diaper bag with everything you might need. Your children will always be clean. You will never be caught pulling underwear out of your purse while presiding over a meeting in a public place.
I believe that ship has sailed. But even so, I can at least clean out my bag.
Contents of my bag:
- 18 Starbucks receipts
- $4.82 in change
- 4 pens, but only one that I actually like
- The pacifier from Matthew's Elmo doll that he suddenly loves and insists join us everywhere we go. everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Oh, and the doll has a soft body but a hard head and it really hurts when you get hit with it. I know this from experience.
- 3 empty fruit snack wrappers
- 2 full fruit snack wrappers
- 2 matchbox cars
- my house keys! I have been looking for these ever since I took them off the ring with the car keys so I wasn't lugging all these extra keys into the gym.
- a pair of Matthew's red socks
- a pair of black knee highs I bought for a co-worker for a huge event we worked last week. And no, she did not end up wearing them. I was not holding used knee highs in my bag. Well, at least not someone else's used knee highs.
- a pair of worn knee highs. Mine. I swear.
- a coupon for flavored coffee cream. I swear that stuff is addictive. Thank God it comes in sugar free now. Oh, but the coupon was expired. Sigh...
- 2 health insurance cards - one without Matthew on it (how old is that?) and one that lists:
- Bradley Wilkison
- Elizabeth Wilkison
- Matthew Wilkinson - how can they get 2 of the names right and then screw up the 3rd one?
- 4 Mary Kay lip glosses
- 2 tubes of mascara
- a small bottle of face moisturizer
- roll on skin protectant for Matthew - to cover face and eczema patches
- at least 3 used tissues. gross. really? when I stop throwing things away?
- the lens from a broken pair of sunglasses. I did not, however, find the actual sunglasses.
- 7 hair clips/barrettes. My hair has been short for a while now- I cannot remember the last time I used a clip.
- 2 Happy Meal toys
- The infamous pair of Thomas The Tank Engine underwear