"the day I pulled thomas the tank engine underwear out of my bag in public" or "the time to clean out this bag is now!"

I cannot remember when I made the switch from a regular purse to my Vera Bradley bag. I love the roomy bag with it's perfectly sized handles that so comfortably fit over my shoulder. The brown and blue print (Java Blue) is one of the more sedate in this designer line. I remember that we were going somewhere and I wanted more space in my bag, so I grabbed this one. And I never went back. The problem with bigger purses and bags is that they hold so much stuff. The amount of stuff they hold seems to grow and before you know it you are carrying around a collaboration of useless items.

I was wrapping up a working lunch the other day and pulled out my wallet to pay. Along with the wallet came a handful of receipts and a pair of Thomas The Tank Engine underwear. That's right. I pulled underwear out of my bag in a crowded restaurant. I heard myself attempting to explain why I was carrying around toddler underwear in my purse and I thought, wow, there's something I never expected to be saying. Remember when you are first a mom? You have these grand ideas about how life will be. You have seen those other women, those harried moms who can't find a thing in their purse and who's children are always sticky. You vow to never be that mom. You will always carry a diaper bag with everything you might need. Your children will always be clean. You will never be caught pulling underwear out of your purse while presiding over a meeting in a public place.

I believe that ship has sailed. But even so, I can at least clean out my bag.

Contents of my bag:

• 18 Starbucks receipts
• $4.82 in change
• 4 pens, but only one that I actually like
• The pacifier from Matthew's Elmo doll that he suddenly loves and insists join us everywhere we go. everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Oh, and the doll has a soft body but a hard head and it really hurts when you get hit with it. I know this from experience.
• 3 empty fruit snack wrappers
• 2 full fruit snack wrappers
• 2 matchbox cars
• my house keys! I have been looking for these ever since I took them off the ring with the car keys so I wasn't lugging all these extra keys into the gym.
• a pair of Matthew's red socks
• a pair of black knee highs I bought for a co-worker for a huge event we worked last week. And no, she did not end up wearing them. I was not holding used knee highs in my bag. Well, at least not someone else's used knee highs.
• a pair of worn knee highs. Mine. I swear.
• a coupon for flavored coffee cream. I swear that stuff is addictive. Thank God it comes in sugar free now. Oh, but the coupon was expired. Sigh...
• 2 health insurance cards - one without Matthew on it (how old is that?) and one that lists:
• Bradley Wilkison
• Elizabeth Wilkison
• Matthew Wilkinson - how can they get 2 of the names right and then screw up the 3rd one?
• 4 Mary Kay lip glosses
• 2 tubes of mascara
• a small bottle of face moisturizer
• roll on skin protectant for Matthew - to cover face and eczema patches
• at least 3 used tissues. gross. really? when I stop throwing things away?
• the lens from a broken pair of sunglasses. I did not, however, find the actual sunglasses.
• 7 hair clips/barrettes. My hair has been short for a while now- I cannot remember the last time I used a clip.
• 2 Happy Meal toys
• The infamous pair of Thomas The Tank Engine underwear

All of that junk in there and my kid is still often sticky....