if you can't talk right now, don't pick up your phone!

I normally use this forum to blog about the absurdity that is my life. Funny stories about my boys, how joyful I find being a mother. Sometimes I write about how hard it is to walk that tightrope that is "working mother". What I don't usually write about are things that bother me. So stand back, I am getting up on my soap box. I had to dust it off, since I so rarely use it.

Now I know you might find this little rant silly. But stay with me. Here goes.

If you can't talk, right now, then DON'T PICK UP YOUR PHONE!

There, I said it. Whew. Why do some people do this? Just because we all have cell phones attached to our bodies doesn't mean we have to answer every single call that comes through. When did we become slaves to our electronics? How did this happen? We used to leave our telephones behind every morning when we left our homes, and who may or may not have called remained a mystery all day long. If someone really needed to get a hold of us they could leave us a message. And we lived in the moment.

Those of you who know me well know that I am just as attached to my blackberry as the next person. I usually have my phone in my pocket, which is how I keep butt dialing my good friend Karen. I use the word "facebook" as a verb. I use my drive time to return calls. If I am alone, that is. If the kids are with me I might call my husband, to check on what time he'll be home for dinner or to ask him to bring home milk. Or toilet paper. How do we always keep running out of toilet paper? What I don't do is call a friend to chat unless I can actually chat. And I don't pick up my phone just because it is ringing. If I don't have the time to take the call, and it is not an emergency, then I don't need to answer it. And it absolutely drives me crazy that some people do need to.

So, in the future, I would appreciate the following:

• If the first words you plan to say after I say "hi, it's me", are "I can't talk right now", then don't answer your phone. Here's something you maybe hadn't thought of - I most likely had a reason for calling you. I would much rather be afforded the opportunity to speak to your voice mail than to be hung up by you. Let me leave my message!
• you: "Hello?" me: "Hi, it's me." you: "I can't talk right now I am in a meeting."  If you have ever been the one in the meeting then, please, dear God, take a class on organization. Picking up your phone simply to tell me that you can't speak to me right now isn't helping either one of us. Look, we are all busy. You don't need to prove your business to me.
• If you are at dinner at a restaurant, shopping at WalMart, or in the bathroom, just let the phone ring. And yes, I did have someone pick up the phone while in the bathroom. And no, I am not sure if they were in a stall or not. I didn't ask.
• Lock Your Phone! This one is for me. I keep pocket dialling a good friend. Last time she heard me singing me with my boys. ack.

So there you have it. You don't always  have to answer your phone. Unless you are a brain surgeon, maybe. Certainly, some people need to pick up every time the phone rings. Most people I know, however, don't need to. I don't think that you are just sitting around waiting for me to call. If you can't talk to me the minute I call I will survive. Protect your work time. Protect your family time. Show your  kids that you know what's important.  Don't teach them that everyone else, everything else, heck, anything else, is more important. See, there was a point to my ranting.

Oh, and rest assured, friends of mine. I'm not talking about any of you...