DINNER IS CANCELLED, indefinitely

I guess it started last week sometime. Too many days in a row of driving the kids around, doing the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning. Too many days of trying to manage the angry toddler, who goes from sweet and loving to angry and, sometimes, just plain mean, in seconds. Too many times reminding the big four and a half year old that we don't stand on our chairs during dinner. Or lunch. Or breakfast. Too much whining. Too much refereeing fights between the boys or pulling the tiny toddler off his brother, for no reason at all. It happens to every mother sometimes, right? (please say yes, please say yes.) I think I was just feeling unappreciated.

Add to all of that the fact that I wasn't feeling 100%. Which is a whole other issue I need to figure out. I usually get a little sick when the big four and a half year old brings gunk home from school, but since the little one has joined the family I have been outnumbered. And so now when they bring that gunk home it is doubly potent and I don't just get a little sick. I get full blown sick. So I was fighting something.

I think we also have to add in the possibility of my hormones being slightly off balance. I know there are opposing views on the long lasting effects of fertility drugs, but I am landing on the side of yes, they do push you into perimenopause early. I am only 41 years old and I have been experiencing some sort of slight symptoms of this since I first took the drugs, back in my mid 30's. Raising small children while your hormones are making you a little crazy is not easy.

So, to recap:

• feeling unappreciated for all the thankless work that goes into being a mother.
• saying no, get down, stop hitting your brother, don't put that in your mouth, STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER!, over and over and over again.
• living through the "IloveyouIhateyouIloveyouIhateyou" sentiments from my newest family member.
• being sick. again.
• hormones making me crazy. oh my god, so crazy.

All of this led to what happened Sunday night at the dinner table. Getting our youngest to eat is not easy. And keeping him at the table while the rest of us finish eating is even harder. Excusing him to go play seems to be just giving him license to climb onto the table, literally up on the table, and pull everything he can reach towards him and onto the floor. So we let him out of the high chair, he runs around for a moment or two, and then the circus begins. He climbs up onto the table, my big four and a half year old says "uh oh, he's doing it again", and we all start grabbing at everything on the table and pulling it out of the baby's grasp. Sometimes we are successful, sometimes we're not quick enough and the ketchup bottle hits the floor, spraying watery red gook everywhere. No matter what we save from hitting the floor, we usually are never quick enough to stop the older one from attempting to push the younger one down. I am this close to everyone having to wear helmets to dinner.

For some reason this chaos really bothers me. I can ignore the thousands of toys on the living room floor. I can look the other way when my oldest son kicks his pull up off every morning, giggling as it hits his dresser, or the window. I don't mind the water on the bathroom floor during their shared tub time. I cannot ignore the dinner chaos. This, it seems, is my battle ground. So I try very hard to create a calm dinnertime experience. I plate the food before I call everyone to the table. I turn the lights down. Sometimes I turn on Vivaldi or Mozart. I reward my big four and a half year old with a sticker on his responsibility chart for good mealtime behavior. I take the time to research, plan, shop for, and prepare meals I think the whole family will enjoy.

Sunday I made a roast. which I knew the two year would not eat and wasn't sure if the four year old would eat or not. I calmly explained to my older son that he needed to taste the meal, at least. If he didn't like the meat he didn't have to eat it.

One bite, which wasn't even swallowed, and which was followed by "that is gross. I don't like this." deep breath.

The plate full of yogurt and fruit the two year old was presented with wound up on the floor. deep breath.

Demands for more ketchup, more butter on the bread, more drinks, more fruit. deep breath.

Toddler standing up in his high chair, attempting to fall on his head. deep breath.

Recently freed toddler climbing onto the table pulling forks, plates, food onto the floor. deep breath.

All hell breaking loose, again, at the dinner table. Piled on top of everything mentioned above. No more deep breaths. This mama lost it.

I believe I said something along the lines of: "I plan for these meals, I cook these meals, I try to make them nice and NONE OF YOU appreciate ANYTHING I do. DINNER IS CANCELLED. You can all eat cereal for dinner this week."

My husband, God bless him, had the presence of mind to keep his mouth shut. He just sat there, calmly grabbing things from the tiny toddler's sticky little grasp. I got up, grabbed a trash bag, starting clearing the table, throwing the food away, all while telling my little family that there would be no more cooking. Cereal for everyone, all week. I was totally out of my mind.

My big four and a half year old asked to be excused and ran out to the living room to play. A few minutes later he was back in the kitchen, where I was still man handling the dinner dishes but at least had stopped muttering about cereal.

"Mommy, tomorrow night, after we eat our cereal, it will be time to go trick or treating, right?"

My point had been totally lost on him. He just accepted the fact that mommy was going to force cereal on the family every night. My sweet little boy, so trusting. And best of all, he made me smile. He made me see how totally ridiculous I was being. I am not the only mother to lose her mind every so often. And this too shall pass. Before I know it I will have grown up boys busy with sports or band or after school jobs. Getting the family to sit down together for a meal might not be so easy. I should appreciate what I have. And I will.

Side note: we did, in fact, have cereal for dinner last night, just like I threatened. But that was only because we had to get our costumes on and get out there trick or treating. I do plan to make dinner tonight. One of my big four and a half year old's favorite meals, in fact. I am such a sucker.

old macdonald had a hamburger

Sometimes my boys are just so hilarious, especially when they aren't trying to be funny. This was yesterday's conversation in the car on the way home from daycare:

MZW: "Mommy, what are we eating for lunch?"

ME: "It's dinner, honey. You already had lunch."

MZW: "Mommy, what are we having for dinner?"

ME: "Hamburgers and fruit. Will you eat a hamburger?"

MZW: "I LOVE hamburgers. (this is totally news to me.) Remember that time I ate my first hamburger? It was so delicious!" (so delicious?)

ME: "Where did you eat your first delicious hamburger?"

MZW: "At Old MacDonalds." (mzw has called "McDonald's" "Old MacDonalds since he learned how to speak. and yes, it is very cute.)

ALEX: "e i e i ohhhhhhh......"

MZW: "Alex, we are NOT singing right now! We are talking about Old MacDonalds!"

ALEX: "e i e i ohhhhhh......"

ME: "So, Matthew, where did you say you had that first hamburger?"

MZW: "At Old MacDonalds, Mommy."

ALEX: "e i e i ohhhhhh...."

As you can imagine, this went on for some time. Every time one of us mentioned  "Old MacDonalds" little Alex sang "e i e i ohhhhh" at the top of his little lungs. I spent the rest of the ride home coming up with reasons to say "Old MacDonalds" just so I could hear my little guy sing. Eventually Matthew gave up trying to tell him that it was NOT time to sing and just joined in. By the time we hit our street both of them were "e i e i ohhhing" at the top of their lungs....

Sometimes I am just convinced the neighbors think I am crazy.....

              

OR.......

my sweeties faq's

Many retail websites have whole pages dedicated to Frequently Asked Questions, or FAQ's. I would like to post the answers to a few of the FAQ's I am repeatedly asked so that I may refer my big four and a half year old, my teensy toddler, and happy daddy to simply review the answers. Problem is, I have no idea where I would post them. Many of these questions come up in the kitchen, so I could post them on the wall, right next to the refridgerator. But they also pop up in the car, the bath tub, the back yard... Maybe I should just post the answers on their sweet little foreheads...

Can I have a popsicle for breakfast?
Have I ever let you have a popsicle (or candy) for breakfast? Ever? No? Well then, there's your answer. And I do not want to hear the arguement that I sometimes let you have potato chips for breakfast. They are always the healthier tomato flavored kind, which is sort of like eating a vegetable, right?

Will you help me pick up my toys?
Oh, dear sweet son. So far today I have washed, dried, and folded at least one load of laundry, a considerable amount of which was yours. I have made the beds, tidied the entire house, wiped down the bathrooms and swept the kitchen floor at least twice. I have packed lunches, made breakfast and dinner, and loaded and unloaded the dishwasher. I may have also paid bills, scheduled and/or schlepped you and your brother to doctor's appointments, ran a few errands, oh, and worked. Mommy has a job, sweetie, and it is not picking up your toys!

Is it morning yet?
Are Mommy and Daddy up and dressed? Are you talking to me in your bedroom or in the kitchen or are you standing next to my bed to ask this question? Here's a clue. If I am laying down and covered up by a blanket, it is probably not morning yet. Go back to bed!

Mommy, can you watch me_________________?
OK, now this answer needs to be handled with care. But the truth is, I have already seen you do everything I allow you to do, probably at least a hundred times. I also have no interest in watching you do something that will result in you getting hurt, your brother getting hurt, something getting broken, or Mommy getting hurt.

Is dinner ready yet?
Here's a clue. You will all know when dinner is ready because I will say, now listen closely, dinner is ready. I will then present you with a plate of food, which you, depending on which sweetie you are, will either:
a. eat nicely
b. complain about but maybe eat
c. eat and then throw on either the floor or at Mommy

Is my ________(drink, snack, meal) bigger than Alex's?
I don't care. Stop asking me this immediately.

Do you know where my ________(shoes, frog, monster truck, blue shirt, cell phone...) is?
Yes, yes I do. I know where everything is around here. (I really do!) Except for Happy Daddy's car keys. I have absolutely no idea where those are hiding.

Wanna talk about my day?
OK, I never grow tired of this one. I will always want to stop what I am doing and talk with you. Always.

the whole foods experiment continues- a quick path to a fun family meal

Evenings at the Wilkison house tend to be just as crazy as everywhere else. Brad and I both work very busy jobs that more often than not spill over into our home life. Our evenings are a carefully orchestrated melody of commuting, dinner, errands, play time with Matthew, catching up on work, cleaning up, bath time, and bed time. Matthew's bed time alone can be more time consuming than the rest of the evening combined. That child is quickly perfecting the fine art of procrastination. These same scenes play out in homes across these United States every night.


So when I made the decision to move my family to whole foods I knew I had to find recipes that were easy to prepare and that included ingredients both my husband and son would eat. (My husband has caught on to me hiding spinach in foods like lasagna, so I know my family's exotic food limits!) Some days are better food days than others, but for the most part we are on the right track. Although my son was not happy with his peanut butter toast this morning, telling me in no uncertain terms that he wants the bread with the "grocery store letters" on it. This is how he describes Giant Eagle. He recognizes the logo and apparently he is missing his Giant Eagle white bread. I told him that change is not always easy. He stomped his little bare foot at me. Ahhh, these are the moments we cherish...


I am slowly combining my love of cooking with my need for easy to prepare meals. Some recipes are successful and some should never be used again. Last night was successful. I think that one of the keys to successful cooking is knowing your audience and being able to just wing it. Unless I am baking I don't deal a lot with measuring, so many of my recipes are somewhat vague in amounts of ingredients.






toasted sesame lettuce wraps


cooked chicken, cut into cubes or thin strips
bottle of toasted sesame salad dressing
shredded cabbage
green onions
large broad leaf lettuce


add chicken and dressing to large pan and cook over medium heat until warmed through. add shredded cabbage and cook a few more minutes, stirring. add green onions and cook just until onions are heated. Scoop the mixture onto the lettuce leaves.


A few thoughts: I usually cook a pan of chicken breasts on the weekend or one weeknight while I am making dinner so that I always have fresh cooked chicken on hand. This prevents me from needing to use those frozen bags of cooked chicken, which I always think taste a little off, not to mention that they are filled with preservatives. Use as much shredded cabbage as you want- I like the purple kind because it looks pretty. I add the cabbage and the green onions at the last minute because I like them to stay crunchy. If you prefer your veggies softer, then add them to the pan earlier. I usually end up using most of the bottle of salad dressing, but be careful as you don't want the mixture to be dripping or it will make the lettuce soft and be hard to eat, as this is a meal you eat with your hands. I like to use a salad spinner for the lettuce because I feel that it keeps it fresher and crunchier, something very important to me. I do not like mushy vegetables! You can sprinkle water chestnuts or crunchy noodles on your lettuce wraps for even more texture and crunch. This is a great recipe because you can basically use whatever you have on hand.


Cold Ginger Soy Noodles

2 tsp peanut butter
1 tbsp honey
2 tbsp tamari
1 tsp sesame oil
approx. 1 inch fresh ginger (peeled and grated)
approx 1/2 pound soba noodles
sesame seeds


boil noodles and when cooked rinse under cold water. chill in refrigerator. melt peanut butter in microwave, whisk in honey and tamari. whisk in sesame oil and ginger. toss with noodles and sprinkle sesame seeds over dish.


You can add shredded carrots or peas to this also. You can also skip the refrigerator step and serve this dish warm. If you prefer to not work with fresh ginger you can use ground ginger- about 1 teaspoon is enough for this recipe. I am not a huge ginger fan so I usually back off the amount slightly. I have found that this dish tastes exactly like the boxed Asian noodle dishes without the preservatives and chemicals. It is healthier and just as easy to prepare, plus it is a lot less expensive. Mathew loves these noodles and tries to eat them without cutting them, so he has no bad luck. It is messy, but sweet to watch.


Last night I served this meal with large seedless purple grapes. It took no time at all to put on the table - from refrigerator to table in under 15 minutes. Quick to prepare, but long to enjoy. Another successful whole foods experiment, and another successful family dinner. Tonight's menu? Parmesan garlic crusted chicken. Yummy...