Happy Family Day to my super six year old!

meeting Daddy for the first time- June 2008

 

You were late to meet us, your new parents, because the orphanage van had a flat tire and was stuck on the side of the road for a while. Then you finally arrived! You were holding that little yellow truck- even back them you loved things with wheels! That has not changed. Your nanny gave me gifts- an orange juicer, because "babies like juice". A map of Dongguan City. A little photo book of you- with every picture taken on the same day. Probably the day before we met you.

 

We walked circles around Shamian Island. You, either in the stroller the Victory Hotel provided or snuggled against my body in the baby carrier. We drank ice tea at Starbucks. We dropped laundry off at the Ladybug and ate scrambled eggs at Lucy's. We walked and walked the waiting hours away. We watched the water and the boats and were reprimanded for letting our wet umbrella drip on the floor of the hotel lobby. It rained nearly every day, and it was so hot that sometimes we would just lay on the floor of our air conditioned hotel room, until boredom set in and we set out for the steamy sidewalks once again.

 

We changed diapers on the floors of airports and we pushed you, screaming in your stroller, through airport gate after airport gate. We left a trail of puffs on every plane and walked miles up and down the narrow airplane paths, rocking you as we walked. We made bottles in hotels, on planes, in airports and restaurants.

We were so happy to arrive at the Hong Kong airport after many delays. We replenished our empty stock of formula and ate Burger King that tasted like the Burger King we were used to. We drank drinks with ice and worked hard to keep you safe in a modern hotel room full of sharp angles and points.

 

I rode home from the Columbus airport in the backseat, holding your little screaming body down into your car seat- being strapped in for the first time did not sit well with you! We held, we rocked, we fed, we loved. We got to know each other.

 

Five years ago today you became ours and we became yours. I am blessed to be called mommy by you!

 

 



 

 



today's labels will include the words "tuba" and "cucumber"

I'm  a little concerned about some of the people out there who may be accidentally winding up on this blog, thanks to their odd little key word searches. That's right people. I can see what key words brought you to my little part of the blogasphere. And some of you are starting to scare me. Here's an example:

Someone has found my blog by searching "bob the tomato + crying". What's the back story here? Does someone want Bob the Tomato to cry? Does Bob the Tomato make this person cry? Make this person's kids cry? I don't know much about Bob the Tomato - maybe he does  lot of crying? I have never seen him cry and he always looks happy and seems quite helpful, I mean we have a book where he helps carry Larry the Cucumber's tuba up a hill, but maybe that is all a ruse. Maybe Bob the Tomato is harboring a secret crush on Madame Blueberry. Wow, secret crushes on blueberries. That should disappoint a few late night Internet searchers when I put that sentence in the list of key words...

he looks happy enough here...

although she is kinda cute...

Someone else has found my little bog by searching "licking toddlers toes". Which, I can't stress strongly enough, was not what that post was about. Why would anyone be searching this particular topic? Again, I think I may be disappointing a few people here.

All of you searching for Starbucks who wind up here- hee hee hee. I talk about coffee a lot. Deal with it.

The phrase "throwing toys at Russians" has also led at least one person my way. I have no idea what this is all about but I can somewhat confidently say that I doubt this was a parenting or adoption related search. I have never thrown a toy at my little Russian, nor do I plan to. So who is throwing toys at Russians? And what sort of toys are we talking about here?

Both "How to Moon" and "How to Moon Walk"  have led readers to my post on moon pies for the Autumn Moon Festival. I get the desire to learn to moon walk - I mean, who doesn't wish they could glide backwards as if on air? But who needs to turn to the Internet too learn how to moon someone? It is true what they say, everything is out there on the Internet...

So, if you have been led to my online ramblings by a wayward keyword search, I hope you stick around. Well, most of you. I promise to keep throwing just enough info into the labels to keep drawing in your fellow weird Internet searchers. Today's labels will include the words "tuba" and "cucumber". Let's see who that sends our way.

better parenting through coffee

Thank God I know my sister. Alright, well, of course I  know my sister. I guess what I meant was thank God we were both in college at the same time. (don't ask.) We went to different colleges in neighboring towns, so we were able to spend a lot of time studying together. We studied at her student union, we studied at my student union, (although we called it the student center at my school...), we studied at coffee shops. And in between all of that studying my older sister introduced me to joys of coffee.

I am fearful that this confession will lead you all to figure out my age but I'm saying it anyways. I grew up in a time when high school kids did not have access to nor did they hang out in coffee shops. There was a coffee place in Kent, which has since closed, (sigh), but until I was in high school we didn't even have fast food coffee available in my tiny little town. "Having coffee" was just not something we kids were doing. (oh my God, how old am I?)

My dad drank a lot of coffee but it was just understood that I was not old enough to partake and was not going to be old enough for quite some time. Then my sister came back to town and poured me my first cup. And I was hooked.

After college my sister moved to Lakewood where I visited her regularly and fell in love even harder with my new caffeinated friend. And now, totally addicted.

Better parenting through coffee. That's me.

I have a new coffee pot that I hate. My old one was over 10 years old when it finally died. It was white and cheap. I replaced it a few months ago with a Mr. Coffee. Which does not work properly. The pause feature doesn't work and the numbers on the clock don't show up all the way. The coffee is good though. And this one is black, which matches my other appliances, so there's that. So I can't really put my finger on why I have this weird dislike of my new coffee pot. All I can say is that I am annoyed when I look at it. Really. My coffee pot annoys me.

Despite it so annoying me I set it up every night to automatically turn on every morning. I love knowing my coffee is downstairs waiting for me as I rouse the boys out of bed and into their clothes every morning. As we walk down the stairs my big 4 year old always says "I smell your coffee, Mommy. Does it make you happy to smell it?" Yes, my boy, yes it does.

I gather up the boys' breakfasts and get them started on eating. Then I pour my first cup. Add the perfect amount of cream and ahhhh. I take a too hot sip and set the coffee down on the kitchen table. I break up a few breakfast table fights, replenish the little one's yogurt or juice- he eats and drinks everything at top speed and then freaks out until more is presented for him. I add the ice packs to the lunch boxes. Take another sip. By now my husband is downstairs and sometimes I sit down with him while he eats breakfast. Maybe another sip or two. Usually not though. Somehow, between getting the kids to eat and all the popping up and down from the table prevents more sipping.

Breakfast over and on to brushing two sets of little teeth, which these days require a lot of cajoling. My big 4 year old hates the taste of his new big kid toothpaste. He loves, however, the spitting that accompanies the new fluoride paste. The two year old likes the taste of his toddler toothpaste but prefers to just suck it off the brush while it remains motionless in his mouth. Shoes are next. Out the door- lunches, school bags, stuffed animals and matchbox cars and sippy cups. Buckle kids in car, hug, kiss, high five them both,  (the actual ritual is "hug, kiss, high five, spit on youuuuuu", but I try to avoid the spit on your part.) Kiss the husband. Stand on front porch signing "I love you" and making funny faces at boys as they drive away. My big 4 year old makes the funny faces back and signs "I love you" as the 2 year old signs his version of  "I love you" through his tears. Leaving Mommy at home is still not so easy for the poor little guy.

Back into quiet house. Coffee is now cold. Drink some of it. Reheat it. Not so good reheated. Clean up breakfast and then begin daily routine of keeping house clean and pulled together. By the time I am ready to start my work day the coffee pot is off. I turn it back on and maybe, if I am lucky, get to drink another cup before it turns off again. I think to myself that I have, once again, made too much coffee. Tomorrow I should make a smaller pot. But then later, when I am getting the pot ready for the morning I will absentmindedly put in the same amount of water and grounds. And the cycle will start again. Best cup of coffee I never had....

Sometimes I have coffee in the evening. Sometimes I use my new french press to make overnight iced coffee. I frequent Starbucks and other coffee shops, and my big 4 year old is so accustomed to coffee shops that he now requests to go and play Uno during our Mommy and Matthew time. Better parenting through coffee. It's all good....

the headstone will read "they took the time for tea"

The other day my husband and I were talking about what type of headstone we would want when the time comes. For the past week our life has been peppered with talk like this, as we traveled back to Northeast Ohio for my mother's funeral. At one point my husband suggested that our headstone read "took the time for tea". Now at first this sounds a little like "they drank the kool-aid", but he has a point.

Ever since we first started dating we have made a point to take time out to sit quietly and enjoy each other's company over iced tea. OK, sometimes I am drinking coffee and my husband has the tea, but you get the idea. Got to the movie early? Go to the Panera next door for tea. Hitting up the shops on the old fashioned main street in pretty much any suburb? Stop at the local coffee shop for tea. When on vacation we make a point not to run from one tourist attraction to another. We always stop for a beverage break. One of my favorite stops  may have been the little coffee/sandwich shop at the corner of Haight and Ashbury in San Francisco. I remember the loving older couple at the table by the window, just sitting there sipping their coffee quietly, obviously comfortable with the warm silence after all these years.

I'll admit that once Matthew joined our family it became a little more difficult to stop and drink the tea. I remember one visit to Panera our first Christmas as a family  that was anything but peaceful. We had been at the book store next door shopping for family presents when we headed in for tea. Our little guy has never been the "sit quietly in the stroller and play with toys" kind of boy. I remember at one point he had new books, a half eaten sticky candy cane, a sippy cup of milk and a handful of straws in his stroller with him. And it was still anything but peaceful. But it got better. Just last summer we were able to stop more than once while on vacation in Kentucky. Sure, the tradition has changed slightly. Sometimes we stop for ice cream now, instead of tea. But we still stop. And we always will.

My all time favorite stop for tea has got to be the Starbucks on Shamian Island in Guangzhou, China. We spent those days in China wandering around this little island day after day, waiting for all the appointments to be over and the paperwork to be finalized so we could return home, the two of us magically shifted into a family of three. There was no iced tea on that island; there was no iced drinks of any kind, really. but I remember sitting in the little garden area in front of the world famous coffee shop, drinking coffee and staring at this beautiful little boy sitting between us. That memory will always be with me. Thank God we took the time for tea that day!

I hope to pass this tradition on to my kids. I want them to understand the importance of just "being". Not being in a hurry, rushing from one activity or event to another. Not being in the same room with another person while not truly being present. I want my children to appreciate the down time. I want them to realize the importance of being still and being present with people you love. Friends, spouses, siblings, just taking the time for each other, quietly, away from the world.

My husband and I love our "time for tea". Just the other day we took a few minutes in between Chinese school and grocery shopping. We sat in the dining area of Giant Eagle sipping our drinks and enjoying each other's company while our little guy took the opportunity to climb under his car shaped shopping cart and "fix" his car.

So we will always stop and take the time for tea. And I agree with my husband. maybe we should put that on our headstone. It is a great life philosophy.

the holiday season has grown and changed as we have

I love it when it all comes together. Two weeks ago I was near panic every time I thought of this week. Every year around the holidays we all have that one week that is pure craziness. This was mine.

Monday: normally a work from home day for me I had to spend the day at one of the communities in my portfolio. This meant getting up earlier than usual to assure that I was dressed and appropriate for other humans to see me out there in the world. It also meant that those five minutes here and there that I grab when working from home to do necessary things like empty the dishwasher and throw another load of laundry in the washer weren't going to happen.  This is not that big of a deal but this week I needed every free minute I could get.

Tuesday: raced home from the community I was working in to pick up Matthew early from daycare so that we could be home before the babysitter arrived. Brad and I had planned to attend a holiday gathering at a friend's home before I realized early in the day that the event was actually a "girl's night". Thank God I figured it out. Brad would have been somewhat out of place amid the white wine and girl talk!

Wednesday: Matthew's Christmas play at Purple Door. This year he is out of the toddler room and in one of the pre-school classes so he stayed on stage the whole time. He was so cute up there swaying hips to "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"! He is so not a baby anymore and it still catches me off guard to see him experiencing a life of his own. When I picked him up from day care yesterday we stayed at the church and ate dinner, along with many of the other families. My little social butterfly flitted around every table in the cafe area, accepting ham and crackers from one friend, giving a hug to another. He knew everyone, including the other parents. Watching him I can imagine that this is what it would be like if he were to ever run for office- shaking hands and kissing babies. He was high fiving other Dads and sharing inside jokes with the other 3 year olds. And the sweet little girl in the cute party dress? He kept finding his way to her, getting lots of hugs. So cute.

Tonight I will be meeting a friend at the gym. And I will not cancel! Tomorrow my husband has determined that it is my office party day. Since I office out of my home usually the party is just me and the cat but this year brad has decided that spouses are coming and the party has been moved off site.

Saturday we are having Brad's family over for the annual pre Christmas dinner, which, in our case, will be lunch. Years ago Brad's sister decided that it would be fun to get the siblings together, minus kids, for a fun dinner/evening before Christmas day. We rotate it every year through the three kids, and this year is our turn. Ever since we moved two and a half hours away our dinner morphed into lunch to make the drive easier. And, now that there are seven kids between the three of us, with two more on the way, occasionally a child or two joins the fun. This year our little guy will be in attendance, soaking up the attention of all his aunts and uncles.

Saturday night we are hosting our annual holiday open house. We started this tradition back in Cleveland, or may be Akron even. The first few years it was a small dinner party and when we moved to Columbus the party moved with us. Somehow without me noticing the small dinner party slipped into a larger open house. This year I think we have more kids planning to attend than adults. Our party has grown and changed as we have, going from young couples to young families. Before the family lunch and the holiday open house though is Matthew's Chinese language class, which Brad will be taking him to as I will be at home watching over our lunch- prime rib. My first attempt at my husband's favorite meal did not go well. It was years ago, in our tiny kitchen in Cleveland. It did not go well. My second attempt was a few weeks ago and according to my husband it was awesome. He talked me into making it for his family, which excites and terrifies me at the same time. It is amazing how one sentence from your significant other: "You are a really good cook.", can make you want to try anything. I know Brad thinks I am a good cook, and to his credit he is very easy to please, but there is something about hearing those words that has had me on cloud nine for days. Sigh...

Sunday we plan to visit Santa. After we sleep in and clean up from the day before.

So two weeks ago I was beginning to be a tad anxious about this week's schedule, especially considering all that needs to be done before Saturday's two parties. But I only allowed myself to panic for a few minutes. Then I sat down, made my Christmas season lists, broke down the tasks into smaller steps and assigned them each to a day of the week, and had a glass of wine. I love this time of year!

My Can't Live Without Holiday Helpers:

List Planit - this cool website offers lists for nearly every occasion that can be either printed or downloaded. I like the fact that many of the downloaded lists can be changed to meet specific needs.

My Green Room notebook - because it is not wire bound it fits nicely into both my purse and my briefcase, meaning it is always handy. Plus it is made from recycled paper, which, as you know, I think is way cool.

RetailMeNot - this site offers promotional codes from a wide variety of companies. I have not paid retail for anything so far this season! There are differing opinions about this site so you will have to decide for yourself- on the one hand it is hard to tell if these rebates are sanctioned by the stores. On the other hand, stores are getting business they otherwise might not get.

Starbucks - Starbucks is currently in the midst of their "12 Days of Sharing" promotion, meaning lots of buy one get one free type of offers. Every day brings a new offer, making it easy to stock up on coffee and gifts.

Service Master Carpet Cleaners - awesome clean carpets. 'nuff said.

 And finally, facebook. Keeping up with my friend's holiday plans, photos of adorable kids with Santa, train rides, snowy days, fundraisers... I love this portal into my friend's lives, making me feel connected to a much larger family. My evening stroll through everyones' day is something I look forward to each night. And no matter how busy or stressed I am feeling, there is always someone there with a funny remark or a much crazier life to make me feel better!

my current favorite things list

my current favorite things...

homemade berry bliss muffins. strawberry and blueberry heaven.

matthew's new responsibility chart. he calls the magnets "stickers" and he can't wait to earn them. we have been using for 7 days, and have had 7 days of my 3 year old making his bed, helping to set the table, getting dressed by himself... nirvana via little round smiley face magnets...

my favorite holiday mug. i like it so much i don't even store it with the christmas decorations. it is really big and can hold lots of hot chocolate, irish coffee, or lose leaf tea.

Dax the Wonder zhu zhu pet. this is MY new toy, and I love it! Plus, it is great fun to turn him loose in the kitchen when the cat is about...

other things I am currently absolutely thrilled about...

• Starbucks red cup is back. There is something about this simple color change from traditional white and green to holiday red that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...
• the fact that two people I really like have recently told me they are pregnant. I am so happy for both of them! (and this time I really mean it- possibly for the first time in years, I am honestly thrilled when I hear of a pending birth- and that feels really really good.)
• my current view from the kitchen table- both my boys on the living room floor building a monster train track. awwww.